U-turn

I'm seeking for answers, but it was not provided! I'm asking for a dialogue, but the idea was rejected! I stand before her, but I was accused of many crimes! I did my part and exerted efforts just to save our relationship, but her reluctance to do so prevails. "The MOON doesn't want me to explore nor to stay with her anymore." I'm now out of the space station, drifting in the universe having no one and going nowhere.

It was really hard for me to believe the thought that the seem-to-be inseparable bond between us was conked out into pieces. I felt bitter and empty; trying to convince myself that the happenings were only part of the obnoxious side of having a partner; that someday everything will turn out to be fine for the both of us. But unfortunately, it didn't turn the way I expected it! She's now gone, preferred to be with someone else's arms. And I can't do anymore about it, but to accept and face the fact that the hands I used to hold and kiss, and the girl I' am devoted for is no longer in my possession. I tried letting go and forgetting, but I can't help but be captivated over and over again! I'm not anymore hoping for her to come back, I'll just pray and hope that abundance of peace and happiness will be with her forever...

But bitterness aside, this particular chapter of my life has pointed me into many realizations, realizations that persuaded me to find reasons and divine basis on why an abrupt “U-turn” happened in my life. I still remember the sign we asked from the Lord when we were starting as lovers’ way back 2004, and it goes like, “if we will still be together until 2008, then that would be a gesture that Heaven wants us to be one, but if not, then Heaven doesn’t wants us to go to the next degree of our relationship.” God has spoken; we parted ways during the last quarter of 2007. I fell into confusion as to how I can classify that particular event in my life, Am I fortunate for having that happened or not?! Gradually, as time passes by, I remembered the prayer I usually pray when I started working last August of 2007, “Lord, please expand my opportunities and impact in such a way that I can touch more and more lives for your Glory.” Having been reflected on the thought and substance of the prayer, I came into conclusion that what happened to me was an answered prayer, an opportunity to do greater things for the Glory of the Father in Heaven. TO BE IN A SOLITARY MODE IS AGAINST MY WILL, but I guess it is the will of the Father, part of His expansion program for me, therefore LET IT BE DONE! I just have to put my full trust and confidence in His Mighty Hands, for I know, the BEST is always for His children.

The fate of my romantic escapade was really a life changing experience, a turning point in my life as a human and as a Christian. I’m looking forward into the day that my Bitterness will be transformed into sweetness, sooner, in God’s healing time. After all, my future is brighter than my past, brighter than sunshine.